It took me seven years to finish my second masters degree, in theology. I was working full time and already had a credential (a masters in music), so there wasn’t much of a hurry.
I found that most of the people in my classes fit into one of two camps. One was young, not long out of college, eager to learn more in order to enter the working world. The other was “I worked as a corporate banker for 20 years and I just wasn’t fulfilled.”
Every time I heard that last trope I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking “What did you expect?” (although one time I said “I’ve got enough fulfillment for both of us…but can I borrow twenty bucks?”)
So there I was in the middle of these two groups, aware of the sacrifices that come with following your bliss, but also very aware of the rewards.
There’s a comic making the rounds that illustrates the words of Bill Watterson, about creating a life that “reflects your values and satisfies your soul”.
I wake up every morning excited to face the day, because I have had success in creating such a life. I’m not destitute (and I never was, and that’s why I had the privilege of constructing such a life), but I look at people who take vacations and have multiple homes and who don’t have to walk through the kitchen in their apartment to go to the bathroom, and I realize that those might be out of my reach, forever. It’s hard not to want what the world wants me to want.
But I’m happy, and proud of my life filled with music and God words and people. I have to remind myself it’s worth the sacrifice. The benefits far outweigh the promises of a big house or a yearly tropical vacation. May God guard me against covetousness and allow me to maintain the blessing of such a life.
Are you fulfilled by the life you (and your world) have created? What’s still standing in your way?
Love this. Such a good reminder. Comparison/envy is my greatest struggle.
No. I’d be happy for even an apartment. It’s hard to move in any positive direction when getting paid to do something is a challenge. I can’t build credit until I find a job (the job classifacation for which I was qualified disappeared in 2008), can’t finish school until I build enough credit that lenders will talk to me (this despite paying down $20,000 debt — my score is close to 700, but since I haven’t been using credit, lenders don’t care). They don’t think I will pay them back because I was too focused on paying back and living within my means to use credit I couldn’t pay back. Don’t think about this too hard, it will give you a headache. Probably the only thing is I’ve kept serving and kept up the ministry side of things, though not a paid job.
One can lend and borrow money but not fulfillment. Although one receives fulfillment, I believe it actually comes from the act of doing without being paid, not from the experience of getting (like a new car) as a result of being paid.
I’m not so sure I agree with the idea that one can only be fulfilled by something if one is not paid for it. In our world, being compensated is the way that people demonstrate that they value your work, and/or that you have attained a certain level of mastery. Maybe fulfillment can also come from being paid for something you might have done for free anyway.
Margaret you are so BEAUTIFUL and inspiring. Thank you for such a great post.
Thank you so much for your kind words!
Leave it to me to read a post 7 months after it was published! I’m not sure why (of all of your entries) “creating a life” popped up when I logged into wordpress for the first time in months tonight, but it came at the right time. I’ve lately been somewhere in that middle ground you vividly painted when describing the demographics of your theology program and the comic and question at the end of this entry landed for me in a way that has got me thinking bigger and outside the confines of money and what the masses say is right. For the next 3 weeks I house/dog sit for a wealthy couple who own a mansion in Newton. They left last night for the airport and I’ve been spending the day enjoying gigantic surroundings and thinking about where I’m at/heading through a new lens. As I do, I realize it’s fine with me to “never have all of this” because I’m finally proud of the life I’m living into and the world I’m creating around me. Thank you Meg for being someone in my life who has such refined values and such a rich soul in the first place and for having the courage to design a life reflect and satisfy these. Miss ya.