Margaret Felice

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Maybe I should have messed up my life more.

January 9, 2013 · Filed Under: writing ·

I learned early that I really don’t like the feeling of regret.

Perhaps it’s the pangs of too strong a conscience or simply what they call Catholic guilt, but I’m really uncomfortable with looking back on something and being ashamed. This is has been a cornerstone of my moral code: don’t do anything you’re going to regret.

So I’ve been prudent with my finances, avoided foolish love affairs, worked diligently towards goals in fields I could be proud of. I labored to get to know myself well enough that I could make decisions with integrity.

I know what you’re thinking: BORING.

As I try to make my blog interesting I wonder if maybe I should have messed up my life more. At least it would give me something to write about.

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14 Comments

Comments

  1. Rae says

    January 9, 2013 at 9:06 am

    Hear, hear!

    Here’s the thing though, stories don’t last forever. People who want to be “interesting” have to keep messing up, and half the time they do, constantly having a new crisis.

    So here’s to stability and the virtuous state of boring!

    Reply
    • felicemifa says

      January 9, 2013 at 9:15 am

      I like your thinking!

      Reply
  2. Jonathan F. Sullivan says

    January 9, 2013 at 9:29 am

    Nice. And for the record I think you’ve got plenty to say, and in a way that’s the antithesis of most of the banal “introspection” and navel-gazing prompted by people with more “interesting” lives. You talk about ideas, which is much more rewarding. 😉

    Reply
    • felicemifa says

      January 9, 2013 at 9:52 am

      You’re so kind! What did I do to deserve such a lovely pep talk?

      Reply
      • Jonathan F. Sullivan says

        January 9, 2013 at 10:06 am

        I read Elizabeth Wurtzel’s piece of angst in NYMag, which has made me much more appreciative of folks like you who actually have something of substance to say, rather than trying to justify their own poor life choices to themselves. (Her essay really rubbed me the wrong way — it’s the perfect example of our culture’s delayed adolescence that I find increasingly distasteful.)

        Reply
  3. hopefulleigh says

    January 9, 2013 at 11:21 am

    This shows you have character though. And often I learn more from a person of character than I do from the redeemed trainwreck. After all, I wouldn’t want to repeat their mistakes and learn those particular lessons. The trainwrecks might have a more “interesting” story but we can’t underestimate the impact and power of a life well-lived.

    Reply
    • felicemifa says

      January 9, 2013 at 11:59 am

      Thank you! I’m sure your readers say the same thing about your life well-lived!

      Reply
  4. Diane Rivers says

    January 9, 2013 at 11:29 am

    Regret is not positive, guilt is not helpful, pain is not pretty. Integrity, on the other hand, is inspirational and powerful. It gives the rest of us hope. Keep doing what you’re doing, exactly the way you’re doing it!

    Reply
    • felicemifa says

      January 9, 2013 at 11:59 am

      You’re kind, and your words about regret, guilt and pain are spot on. I wouldn’t trade my lack of regrets for the most interesting of lives, that’s for sure.

      Reply
  5. marccard says

    January 9, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    The thing is though, prudent people like you do get things done and meet their goals. You say boring; I say successful! You can’t really get things done if you’re always a mess.

    Reply
    • felicemifa says

      January 9, 2013 at 12:59 pm

      I hope you’re right!

      Reply
  6. waywardson23 says

    January 9, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Rae is right, people who usually have “interesting stories” often just have drama. Drama is SSDD: Same Story, Different Day.

    The truly interesting people are the ones who have their act together and can do something different. (And have much better stories and blogs in the long run.)

    Here’s to the “boring” ones. Who have the freedom to be crazy without being insane.

    Reply
    • felicemifa says

      January 9, 2013 at 1:30 pm

      That last sentence is right on the money! Thanks.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. 7 Quick Takes volume 25 | Felice mi fa says:
    January 11, 2013 at 5:51 am

    […] feeling the love! When I published my lament this week that I don’t have anything catastrophic to write about, I did not expect everyone to tell me how great I am in response, but I’ll take it! I suppose […]

    Reply

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