On a frigid Friday night about three years ago, I surrendered. I spent the evening pacing the subterranean studio apartment where I lived alone, clutching my hair and praying Hail Mary. The pain I had dealt with since my Crohn’s diagnosis a few years prior had taken over my body and mind. The searing sensationContinue reading >>
Just before dawn
When I first met my husband, and we were living hours apart and still figuring out if we were going to give it a shot, I woke many mornings around 4:00 am and lay in bed and agonize. (“I’d lie awake and think about the boy, and never even think of counting sheep” to quote theContinue reading >>
The Last Five Years
Five years ago I turned thirty, and everything was fine. I was working steadily in the fields that I love, music and theology. I had a small apartment in a great location. I had wonderful friends near and far and was in complete control of what I did with my time. My life was aContinue reading >>
That marriage might make me holy
About four years ago I started to crack up. This isn’t that unusual for me, as I find myself “grieving over Goldengrove unleaving” during October, but that year was different. And I could be excused for the number of tears I shed, since I was struggling with a soon-to-be-diagnoses chronic illness, and was settling intoContinue reading >>
Why we ruined our wedding pictures
“Honey,” I said a few months before the wedding, “everyone says that we should make lists of our priorities for the wedding so that we know what the each other’s non-negotiables are.” There had been no disagreements thusfar, and we were committed to a simple celebration without most of the bells and whistles that haveContinue reading >>