I gotta admit, I really feel for those Apostles.
First Jesus calls them away from their familiar lives and makes a bunch of promises they don’t understand. Then he dies (even though he totally could have gotten out of it!). Then he rises from the dead. Then he eats a lot. Then he takes them all out to a mountain, says “I need you to spread my message to the entire world” (Oh, is that all??) “and by the way, I’m going to float away now. See ya!”
And then those snooty angels have the nerve to go over to the stupefied Apostles, who probably just need a second to regroup, and say “Hey bozos – why are you staring off into space??” No wonder they were hiding out at Pentecost. They’d had a rough few months.
When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted. I think that anyone who has committed themselves to faithfulness duirng this extended period of “already/not yet” is well versed in the worshipping doubt. What exactly am I doing this for, again? How long will we wait for the fulfillment of Christ’s promises, for the transformation of our world which is both beloved and broken? But through the doubts and questions we worship.
Jesus didn’t tell the Apostles “come back to me when you have conquered doubt” or “how can you expect me to trust you when you’re still uncertain?” Instead he says “here’s the task that I trust you to do. I will still be with you.” Maybe that’s the best we can hope for, that and the companionship of the Spirit soon to arrive at Pentecost. Maybe that’s enough.
(Begging forgiveness for my fusion & summary of today’s readings)