The Sky is Cracked: A guest post from Jonathan F. Sullivan

I’m delighted to be kicking off the How Can I Keep from Singing? series of guest posts today with a piece by Jonathan F. Sullivan. Most of Jonathan’s work is in the field of catechesis; it’s a special treat to read such a personal reflection on a piece of music with spiritual significance.

There are plenty of things I wish I could take back from my teenage years – that ridiculous haircut, my first kiss, and not choosing a more portable musical talent among them – but I’ll forever be grateful for the day my percussion instructor put a weathered cassette tape in my hands, said “I think you’ll dig this,” and introduced me to the music of Tom Waits.

Since then Waits has been a constant musical companion, but his 1999 song “Come On Up to the House” is the track I return to again and again. A blues/gospel hybrid, the song makes perfect use of Waits’ gravelly, coffee-soaked vocals as he contrasts the hardships of this earthly existence with the promise of rest and respite in our heavenly “home.”

The song would be just a nice reminder that “the world is not my home/I’m just a passin‘ through” if it weren’t also for the fact that my father died the same year the song came out. See, my dad struggled for a long time with depression and alcoholism (to this day I’m still not sure which preceded the other) and his death, while sudden and wrenching, was also a kind of blessing.

Because of his dual illnesses dad could never “find no port,” no place to rest in this world. His strong faith carried him through, but his fiercely independent spirit seemed to keep him from seeking – or accepting – the help that he needed. He was “whipped by the forces” that were inside him, and his struggles hung like a dark cloud over our home.

At the time of his death, however, I was greatly comforted by the fact that, finally, he had found release from this “nasty, brutish and short” life and been called to “come on up to the house” of God. Waits’ tune – mournful and hopeful at the same time – reminds me that, no matter what we suffer and endure, those hardships will one day be transformed by God’s mercy: “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church.” (Colossians 1:24)

That suffering can be transformed for the salvation of the world is the mystery of the cross. God calls us all to pass through this world to his home – a lavish home of grace and abundance where we can surrender our hardships. “Come On Up to the House” will always remind me of my father’s pain and how it has been transformed, and I hope one day we will meet in that house and sing together in praise of God’s wondrous love.

Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
The world is not my home
I’m just a passin’ thru
Come on up to the house

Jonathan F. Sullivan is the director of catechetical services for the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois and author of Sunday Prayer for Catechists 2014-2015 (Liturgy Training Publications, 2014).