The first platitude I remember hearing about “all men” was when I was told at fifteen that all men are just interested in sleeping with you, and after that they will ignore you. (The young man told me this as we were making eyes at each other in the back seat of a friend’s car. But his peculiar romantic tactics are not the point of the story.)
All men lie. That’s another one I heard recently. I’ve also heard that all men think of women as less human than men and all men regularly watch pornography and get off on the degradation of women.
And then today, I read that all men cheat (with the exception of those who can’t pull it off, but they want to cheat too).
So I am here to tell you, based on nothing less than a lifetime of observing people: NO. THEY. DON’T.
I can see how, if you base your conclusions on television sitcoms, the things twenty somethings brag about at bars, and the bad behavior we glorify in the media, you might think that all men are lascivious, dishonest, and misogynist.
There are indeed jerks and worse out there. It’s not ignoring reality to say I choose a different reality, the one I see every day. I see men who are honest and principled nearly to a fault. I see men who are the first to volunteer to lend a hand (and not just out of some chivalry fetish). I see men who know how to be friends with women. I see men who are devoted to their families and raise strong daughters and kind sons.
If you don’t see these people every day, my apologies. I have some great men I’d like to introduce you to.
If you are one of these men, know that I don’t believe the things they’ve been saying about you.
And most importantly, if you are a young man, and you are deciding what kind of man you are going to be, know that there are more options for you than the stereotypes would have you believe. You too can be happy and holy, no matter what they say.